so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy
— (via rebellious-spirits)
yeah ur secrets safe with me
I wasn’t listening in the first place
i hate small talk
tell me about how lonely you are or tell me about why you keep waking up in the morning or talk to me about your mum’s eyes and your dad’s laugh. I don’t care about the weather and you don’t care about how my job’s going.
jeez i would love to order that thing online, but i don’t know what size to order it in because women’s clothing sizes are determined by the alignments of the planets in relation to the fuck you galaxy