sherlocksmyth:

sherlocksmyth:

one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside

when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again

my mom thinks im depressed and slightly suicidal because i like staying home instead of going out so she’s sending me to Mexico to have fun lol no

h e l p i am teenager i just like being lazy oh my god

zooeyclairedeschahell:

“cool jeans,” i tell a cute boy

little did he know that i actually talking about his genes because those chromosomes have combined beautifully ay papi

(Source: zooeyclairedeschanel)

familyfriendlyurl:

when i was in grade 3 our class was having a party and i brought in the shrek soundtrack and everyone loved it and the girl i had a crush on winked at me i owe everything to shrek